Haiku sixty!

Hello all!

Well I’ve made it further along in my reading of the haiku handbook by William J Higginson. I came across a part of the teaching section and realised that some of the haiku I’ve been doing (and ones that I thought were among my best) have been metaphor and/or simile! Which is apparently not in the spirit of haiku. So here is a revision of two, where I have removed the word “like” and made it less simile, but probably still metaphor. I’m still not good with metaphors. Anyway here are the revised haiku:

1.

fresh offerings

to an unknown god

I lift linen to shelf

2.

cradled in my arms

newborn bundle of

pillow slips

 

I think I have improved upon the originals somewhat. Something that I would never claim to improve upon however is any haiku by Basho! But upon waking this morning I had his rather famous (in haiku circle anyhows) poem which goes something like this:

old pond

frog leaps in

waters sound

And here are my haiku inspired by that poem:

3.

new pond

no frog

waters silence

 

4.

ancient ocean

pelican dives in

fish sound

 

Then there is this next poem which came to me nearly 2 years ago when I was walking home to my old dwelling in New farm. At that time I wasn’t really writing haiku, but it was definitely a haiku moment, and here it is so many moons later.

5.

turquoise kingfisher

ruffled feathers

dead in the gutter

 

And finally my last haiku for today reflects on my shit mood which hung with me all day. Oh but I suppose I shouldn’t tell you that and just let the poem speak, oh well:

6.

cool spring evening

the days storm has passed

from my mind

 

Ok that’s all folks move along nothing to see here.

Thanks y’all for readin’!

Peace.

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About El Norto

I write haiku. This is my haiku journal.
This entry was posted in Haiku, Poetry and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Haiku sixty!

  1. Symanntha says:

    I really liked these! After I get done with the book I am reading, I am going to borrow a Haiku book from my local library. I too, struggle not to do similies.

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